Oh. My. Goodness. I haven't been updating and it's killing me because I missed all of my readers! Hello; it's nice to see you. :-) Anyway, I've been okay; trudging along through school and the Village, and everything in between. I'm thinking this blog will be more of a reflection, than anything about what I'm doing (things pretty much haven't changed).
School is settling down a bit; my student is doing great, and I'm getting a lot more done now that he is (planning and such). Life in Cornish, NH is chilly and sometimes wet, but it seems like it's the best fit for me in my life right now. Honestly, it's the perfect first job; it's something that is preparing me for when I have my own classroom. Looking back, if I did have my own classroom right off it would have been a bigger struggle than what I'm doing now; but I could have done it. At the same time, though, I'm kind of glad that I don't just yet because I'm looking at this year as another year of preparation for that classroom. It's hard for me to admit, but I thought I was ready for it; I thought I was ready and prepared. The reality is I wasn't ready, and it's not that SJC didn't prepare me well enough, but it was the fact that I wasn't emotionally or mentally ready for twenty-five screaming kids who all need individual attention.
At the end of the day, I truly and honestly feel drained, but it was worse in the beginning of the year. I'm drained of patience, time, and energy. Please don't take this as me complaining; I'm not. I love what I'm doing and I wouldn't change anything going on right now. I'm just saying that doing what I love takes a lot out of me. That's the big drawback of teaching because it really does suck the life out of you. I knew that going into teaching, but it doesn't change the fact that I am tired and a bit annoyed at the end of the day.
The Village is a good break from using every ounce of patience that I have. I know normally I'm not a patient person with the people closest to me (Sorry, Mom), but when I'm helping customers, it's natural for me to be patient with them; it's completely different from what I do at school. Imagination Village is a breath of fresh air. The people I work with are great; they really are (I'm truly not trying to butter up my boss who might be reading! :-p ). Plus, I get to help out parents and other teachers find things that will help their children/students grow to be better than they were before, whether it be just a toy to play with or a poster to help students stay focused.
Singing helps me too. Yes, yes, I sing all the time, but it's what I do as a stress reliever. When I sing (it doesn't really matter if I have a good voice or not), it's as if all the bottled up emotions just got uncorked (is that a word? I think so...) and they're flowing out so I don't have all that extra "stuff". I think what happens when I sing is that I have a certain feeling of greatness; it's the one thing that I can do really, really well. Singing is my link to God, and it feels like singing is the only truly and completely constant thing in my life; it never changes.
What's really bugging me, actually, is the fact that I didn't think my life after college would be like this; it never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to talk to my friends on a regular basis, or that I would have to schedule a block of time to eat dinner with my parents; it's kind of nuts, I have to say.
I just hope that this part of my life doesn't go by too quickly.
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