Hey everyone! Happy New Year! I know I'm late with the new year thing, but hey, it's still January so I'm still safe.
I was thinking about what I would do to for resolutions this year. Since it IS a new year and all, I was going to be SO into making resolutions, but honestly, I don't think anyone I know has made one publicly yet.
Everyone chooses losing weight as a resolution, and that's definitely is on the list for me. Before I just wanted to get healthy, and I still do, but before, I didn't care if I didn't lose any weight because I was still me, and I had things to distract me (such as college, friends, etc.). But now, I want to LOOK better in clothes, and feel better about myself. I didn't realize how low my self esteem really was. Yes. I am happy with who I am, but everyone feels low about themselves more than they admit.
I also want to try and be more honest with people about how I'm feeling. 2010 was a pretty emotional roller coaster ride, and I tried to keep myself in check emotionally, but it didn't really work and it ended up with me spilling over and overreacting to a lot of things.
I think that's pretty much all I want to do right now to help my life get a bit better. Sure, there are things that I could fix about myself, but I have to start somewhere, and I know that I wont get anything done unless I do one thing at a time. If I do more than that, I'll blow up, panic, or both, and get overwhelmed (honesty, right?)
So, let's have an update, shall we? Things aren't busy as much as time consuming. For example, the only real busy day I have nowadays is Monday (Get up BEFORE the crack of dawn, get to school, come back to the gym to work out for like 20 mins, get dinner, choir, sleep). I'm not doing a lot the other days, but when I get home, there's so much for me to do, like, laundry, showering, dinner, trying to get onto the computer to check email and Facebook so I can at least keep up with what's going on...then it's time for bed to start all over again.
School's okay; not great. I love the teacher I'm working with, but sometimes I just wish there was more that I was doing in the classroom. I did more while I was an intern than I do now. What I am taking with me is the fact that I am definitely NOT a middle school teacher; the students I have are pretty disrespectful, and I don't think I could handle that year after year. I have good days and bad days, but it's pretty much day to day at this point.
So this thing about me being honest? I have some things I need to say just to get them out in the open so they're not so bottled up anymore(Jake, stop reading cause I know you've heard this a million times...I know, if I've told you then they're not bottled up, but I am my mother's daughter and I need to get it out to someone else too).
I really wish I had Jake with me a bit more than what I have right now just because when I see him and I'm with him, I can breathe a lot easier and I'm not as stressed when he's around. That might be due to the fact that I see him during vacations, but I honestly don't think so. When I was looking for a job down in Indiana, my reactions were more dramatic when I was back in New Hampshire than when I was with him in Indiana. Maybe it's just me missing him just after he came up for my birthday (we have a great time, btw), but it's getting a lot harder for me to say goodbye to him. Actually leaving the airport is getting harder. I literally want to just run to the ticket counter and buy a ticket to get on the plane with him. It's so completely crazy, right? I mean, it totally and completely makes sense to me. Does that make me sick in the head; to want that?
Anyway, I think that's all for now. Thanks the 4.2 people who read this.
