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My thoughts on my Theology Class

For my last theology class I'm taking Protestant Christianity. Honestly, I chose the class for two reasons. One, it was the only one that could fit into my schedule, and two, I wanted to open myself up a bit and experience what other Christians believe in.

Now, we've just been talking about the Reformation until recently, so it's been Western Civilizations all over again, but it was from a different perspective.

Now, we're really looking into the United States and Christianity. I guess I've always known, but it didn't really occur to me that this country was founded on Protestant beliefs. The Catholics were actually foreign to the country...the country was founded by the Puritans to try and get away from Anglicans and Catholics. I actually can chuckle at that.

I'm finding that the class is based on what I call "New England Protestant" beliefs. What we talk about in class and what we're told we're going to be seeing in the churches around the college (field trips, yay!) is not a lot like what I've experienced when I've gone to church with either Jake or his mother. It just seems like middle ground to me. That and there's something in me that can't bring myself to fully accept the teachings that we're learning about.

I wonder about that. Last Saturday, before I left for my best friend's house, I was talking to Jake's grandmother. She's incredibly wise, and I love her dearly. She made me realize that I didn't have to be just Catholic or just Protestant; I could have both, and that would be okay.

I think that's what I've been trying to do up until this week. I've been trying to look at Catholicism and Protestantism as two different sects that can't be mixed together. The class kind of supports that thinking as well.

All I know is that I want to try and balance my faith, which is based on Catholicism and understand what's going on outside of my faith as well.

At the same time, I just don't think I agree with all of the things that Protestants agree with it seems. All I want to do is integrate some of that into my faith and have everyone okay with it.

Is that bad?

To Everything, There is a Season...

...and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
~~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8




Today is the start of Lent; Ash Wednesday, and I was thinking about what I was going to do during Lent. I've found what I want to do, but as I was thinking about it, I thought about the fact that I didn't really make any New Year Resolutions. I did this consciously mainly because the Resolutions I make never get accomplished, or at least get accomplished a little, but not to the extent I want them to go.

Back to the moment. It wasn't until college that I figured out Lent is a lot more than repenting for our sins and the sins of the world. For those who don't know (and that's a lot of you out there), as a Catholic, during Lent I have to PRAY, FAST, and GIVE ALMS. In English that means I have to figure out something to pray about or just plain pray more than normal, fast, or give up something that I enjoy but do not need, and give alms, meaning giving something back to those less fortunate. All of this has to be in secret, meaning, I have to look like I'm not in repentance while I'm doing these things.

Now I know what comes to my mind first is that I'm writing a blog about what I'm going to do during Lent, and it sounds a bit hypocritical. However, what I've stated, anyone can go look up on any Catholic site about Lent and read what I just wrote, so I don't think I'm going to get a lightning bolt thrown down at me because I revealed the practices of Lent.

Anyway, I feel that my Lenten Resolutions hold more weight for me because it literally forces me (with a bit of Catholic guilt and a priest on campus) to go through forty days of changes. And usually, these changes stick throughout the rest of the year because I practice it everyday and it's on my mind.

Lent is all about reconciling with God. I'm a sinner, and shouldn't even deserve what He gives me every single day. Because of this, I have to repent. The entry is titled the way it was because everything has a season, that includes repentance and atonement.

Now is just my time; my time to atone and Easter will be a time to rejoice.

Do I REALLY have to stop being polite and start getting "real?"

My last blog, I mentioned in one of the last paragraphs that I was ready for the real world. I'd like to retract that statement a bit. I think what I meant was that I was ready for the IDEA of the real world. The idea of the real world is a lot simpler to deal with than the actual.

It seems, by what I see/hear/read, that the actual real world is incredibly negative; greed, sadness, anger, revenge, envy, the need for power; the list could go on about all the negative things that are in the world. It's literally Social Darwinism; survival of the fittest. What, as young citizens of the United States, have to look forward to? Fights with health care policies that don't make any sense, politically-minded power freaks who only think of themselves, and a job adn house market which is barely getting better. Last year, only TWO of the elementary education graduates got jobs as teachers. The rest are either Ed Techs, or working a Super Save-A-Bunch. And you know what? That just plain sucks.

I've been reviewing some of my friends' lives after college, and out of everyone that I know around my age, only a number counted by one hand have careers. Most of the people are either unemployed, or working at a job that they hate. And they're turning into Grumpy's because of it. They hate the world, they hate their lives, and they hate the fact that they can't control what other people do.

I refuse to look at life as a burden. There's no way I could live with myself if I got myself down. And I'm pissed off because so many people don't feel the way I do. Classroom management would fix everyone's lives, I swear! If you have positive expectations and a positive outlook, but PLAN for things to go wrong, then you'll be happy. Why do people hate life? It's the only one we have, so why not be happy most of the time? Whatever God sends my way, I will be happy about it. That's how it should be.

The real world sucks. Period. We all know this. But why do people have to have a negative outlook about it. Life's not fair. Get used to it. It's not a big deal. Don't waste your time on arguing that fact. Sometimes your ahead of the pack, sometimes your behind. The only person you're really arguing with is yourself. Don't lose the hope that God gives you.

Go to a window and look out to the sky. Look at how bright the day is. Even through clouds there is still light. Um. Look at the significance there. There is light even when it's raining. THERE IS STILL HOPE EVEN WHEN IT'S CLOUDED OVER! Duh.

TO conclude, a little Crazy for You:

I'm chipper all the day, Happy with my lot. How do I get that way?
Look at what I've got: I got rhythm I got music I got my man

Who could ask for anything more?

Excitement of Second Semester

So it's been a few weeks into the semester, and yes, I'm foreseeing it'll be a lot of work, but somehow I'm not too worried yet. I know that I'll break down at some point during the semester, but I don't feel it just yet.

I went home for a night over the weekend and brought back my dress for Senior Ball. I absolutely love that dress, and I can't wait until I can wear it again. Hopefully I'll look better than when I went to prom, but either way I'll be happy because Jake will be there.

I received an exciting email on Friday about a certain event happening April 17th. My Pinning Ceremony. I'm extremely excited for it because the Pinning Ceremony has always been my goal after Erin got pinned. I saw the actual ceremony and fell in love with it. Basically I get a pin, I stand with a candle with a card that has the Teacher's Prayer on it, and after I recite it, I'm a teacher. I know, it sounds dumb, but in the moment, everyone's crying.

I suspect I will be included in that "everyone." My mother will be too. This brings me to the sadness of it. The Pinning Ceremony is basically the graduation from the education program at St. Joseph's. After the Pinning Ceremony, I'm a teacher. My undergraduate learning is pretty much over. Formal graduation is graduating with my degree, but the most important part of my undergraduate learning is me becoming a teacher. My college career will be over.

When I graduated high school, my principal, Dr. Jette, quoted something in his speech from a student I was graduating with. He said that this student was blogging about how it was time for her to grow up. That always stuck with me, and I feel like it somehow carried me through college; I grew up and now I'm ready (well, I will be by the end of the semester) for the real world.

So, not to sound full of myself but...is the real world ready for me?

Post-Student Teaching/Second Semester Senioritis

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been posting at all. It was the busiest and hardest semester I have ever had, but it was also the best. Things were rocky all the way through, and I figured that I'd write down sort of what I could call a "final reflection."

I loved my class. I call it my class because they really were, for a month, my students. The only problem I felt was that the classroom I was in wasn't really mine, and I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do.

The technical stuff that I was worried about before was, in fact, challenging, but at the same time, after I had gotten through the biggest part of it, it was a breeze as long as I remembered everything I needed to do that day and plan for it.

I received an A for my student teaching and I'm on the Dean's List for the seventh time.

Now senioritis is setting in and I don't feel like doing anything. It seems like all I think about is, "when can I do this?" or "What time is practice?" or "When can I sing next?" I'm not really thinking about anything in particular to finding a job or getting any work done.

Nothing really, is going on right now. Just plugging away at school.

EDIT: Okay, I was looking at my post before last semester started, and forgot that I had set some goals. Let's see if I achieved them, shall we?

First goal: Create an iMovie or whatever's on a PC, that shows my work with the students.

Okay, so I couldn't do an iMovie. But that wasn't my fault, and now that I know more, I could see that would've been work that I didn't need to do.

Second goal: Mrs. Malnati has a website for her classroom, and she hasn't done a lot with it, so I want to take it over and put updates and (with parent permission) put photos of the students showing off their work.

I didn't take over the website because of the new district policy, but Mrs. Malnati and I both worked on it together, so I consider that goal accomplished as it could be.

Third goal: I want to use the different stuff I have for bulletin board making and really create good-looking boards.

My bulletin boards were really creative and I loved doing them!

Fourth goal: One of my assignments for student teaching is to do reflections every night. I also want to put my reflections on another blog for preservice teachers to see what student teaching is like. Maybe Dr. Rey (hopefully) will count those future blog entries as actual reflections...or part of them anyway.

Couldn't do the blog. It didn't work out because it was too personal. But I consider this goal half accomplished because I can still give my advice to all the preservice teachers at SJC.